Farm Funnies

It's springtime, and it's that time of year when farmers plant crops, gardeners plant seeds, and the agricultural jokes come out! This song begins with a grand, Broadway musical style entrance, but after eight bars turns into a boom-chick country piece with a banjo-driven riff and animal sounds. It has a refrain that is sung throughout, but otherwise, it's all about the jokes.

The good news with a song like this is, you have a good bit of freedom, as long as you begin the jokes at the right places – measure 25 and measure 33. And while we've chosen some of our favorite jokes for our full performance tracks, we have included some extra jokes here, and you can also bring your own jokes if you prefer. (We made space for eight jokes.) After each joke we have inserted the odd comedy drum fill or sound effect (like a duck call, a ratchet, or cow moo). There's even a Wilhelm Scream in there! (Do an Internet search for it. It's pretty famous!) And your singers should react to the jokes. We had our studio singers either laugh (single or group), or guffaw, or cackle, or groan if it was a bad joke. Singers can even say things like "That was bad!" or "Aw, man!" See what works for you. And if you like, singers can make a cacophony of animal noises when the song is done, perhaps as they exit the stage.

Farm Funnies Extra Jokes
Q: Where does a farmer get his medicine from?
A: The farm-ascist.
Q: Which farm animal keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog!
Q: What did the mama cow say to her calf?
A: It's pasture bed time.
Q: How can you tell which rabbits are getting old?
A: Look for the grey hares. [Get it? 'Cause hare is another word for rabbit? (We got it!)]
Q: What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?
A: A Moo-sician!
Q: Why was the cucumber mad?
A: Because it was in a pickle!
Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands!
Q: Why did the pig go to the doctor?
A: He wanted to be cured.
Q: What's the most musical part of a turkey?
A: The drumstick!