Penguins Are Lousy Bowlers (La Ci Darem La Mano)

For this special issue of Music K-8, we are pleased to bring you the first full and accurate English transcription of Mozart's famous aria, "La Ci Darem La Mano." Since few people knew of Mozart's love of penguins and bowling, this has usually been translated as a simple love duet. Scholars now agree, however, that the animal-ladened morality tale is the more precise guide to Mozart's intent.

OK... that may not entirely be the truth, which is to say, it was a total fib.

Now you are in the spirit of this new adaptation for children. We didn't figure that the love song from Don Giovanni would be nearly as beneficial for your students, though we do recommend that you play the original for them when they are learning this one.

There isn't really much to tell you about this tune except to remind you that if our lyrics don't exactly work for you, you are free to adapt them. If, for instance, you don't care for the word "lousy" you might substitute words like "rotten" or "clumsy" and that's fine with us. We considered this and decided that "lousy" was just a funnier word.

If you perform this work for an audience, consider hamming it up a bit by being ever so proper in stature and demeanor. A haughty look on the face and hands clasped formally in front of a singer will make the silly lyrics even funnier.