Submitted by Dan Fee, Fond du Lac, Wisconsin

Idea posted February 21, 2006

It must be the time of year, or just the YEAR, but I have really been struggling with stress. However, my situation is SO much better than one week ago today. Here are some of the things I did that might work for you:

1. Meet with the teachers at your school. Be honest. Ask for their help. Make it clear that unless things change, you do not know how you will make it until the end of the school year. Listen to their advice and thank them. Then do what they say.
2. See if it's just a few kids who are causing you the most stress. That's what it was for me. Of the three children in question, one no longer will be coming to music. One is out until he meets with me and asks to come back, telling me what he will change in order to stay in music class. The last is in music with an aid next to her: She's fine now.
3. Realize that perhaps some things just have to go. Never look back and don't blame yourself. In my case, it's a fifth grade field trip to the symphony. All nine schools used to send kids, and now there is only one school (my school) left doing this, because I felt so strongly about it. Unfortunately, it's gotten very expensive. Plus, the planning used to be done by others, and now it's just me. I have to let it go.
4. No matter what, remain positive. Even when disciplining, keep smiling and calmly (CALMLY!) dish out consequences. "I'm sorry. You'll need to serve a detention," is said exactly like "Tonight we're having meatloaf." Kids don't need us yelling at them and bringing them down lower. In my opinion, they already get too much of that at home.
5. Stay home for a day. You need it, and you're worth it. (I haven't done that yet, but I will.)
6. Remember that you're not in charge of making the whole building perfect. In fact, there's no such thing as perfection. Walk right past the noisy lunch line; you can't do it all. (This one's tough for me.)
7. Be realistic. Out of 600+ students, there really will be a few you won't be reaching. Let it go. (Again, very hard for me.)
8. The phone is your friend. Call one parent every night whose kid is in trouble in your room. Call one parent every night of a kid who excels in your room. Let the principal know you're doing these things.
9. Have a discipline plan in place and use it! I say "strike early," which means to give out a consequence in the first 30 seconds. "John, please come in quieter. I need to give you a check." It sets a tone.